1. "I can speak cat!"
Well, this is what our cats lead us to believe anyway...when our cat meows at us we reply by imitating them with our own meowing, hoping to strike up a conversation. In the unlikely event that this works, we then proceed to have a full conversation with our cat through a series of meows. This gives us a huge sense of pride and leads us to believe that we have the ability to talk cat. Although we may believe that we are now a cat whisperer, in actual fact our poor cat language probably translates along the lines of "brontosaurus waxes watermelon on an apocalyptic frying pan". Ergo, we've made a fool of ourselves in front of both our cats and any puzzled onlookers.
"You talkin' to me?!"
2. The Chair Dilemma
Picture the scene...you're sitting comfortably on your favourite armchair reading a good book (or, if you're me, playing flappy bird on your phone...) Everything's perfect, except you start to feel a bit thirsty. "Time for a drink" you think to yourself and you use all the energy you can muster at 6.00 in the evening to pull yourself out of your snuggly nest to get a drink of water. After quenching your thirst, you drag your weary limbs back in the direction of the armchair. But what's this?! Oh no, you can't continue your lazy sprawling on the armchair because there, perfectly placed slap-bang in the middle of your favourite seat is your cat, selfishly stretching out over the whole chair. On your cat's face is a withering look which can only be interpreted as "If you think I'm moving, you've got another think coming."
Admit it, if you're a cat owner, you have been in this situation numerous times before. At this point, there are two things you could do: either scoot your cat off the chair and risk being subject to a large amount of growling and/or scratching, but in return get the warm comfort of your chair back. Or leave your cat be and sit elsewhere.
Is it just me who in this situation will look into their cat's pleading eyes, feel guilty and leave their cat sitting comfortably on the chair like a monarch surveying their kingdom and end up perched precariously on the arm of the chair, vaguely resembling an ostrich going to the loo?!
3. "Pet me, slave"
Why is it that our cats decide that they want to be stroked at the most inconvenient times for us?! Whenever we want to stroke our cat, our cat always seems to be preoccupied with something else, such as cleaning themself or pigging out on food. However, as soon as we're busy with some vital piece of work that, for whatever reason, must be finished immediately, this is when our cat decides that it's petting time. But the worst thing is, we don't refuse the cat's pleas. If they look up at us with those big, desperate eyes, we feel that to refuse them would be inherently wrong and whatever that vitally important piece of work was, it is now nowhere near as important as stroking our cat.
4. Argument Catalysts
4. Argument Catalysts
I don't know about you, but I don't tend to argue with my sibling regularly, except for when it comes to the issue of our cats. Because one of my cats tends to spend a lot of time on my sister's bed, she seems to think that that means said cat loves her more. But as I am constantly reminding her, it's about the person and not the bed and as the cat enjoys spending a lot of time with me, I'm sure she loves me more.
I won't get into details now because that would end messily, but it's safe to say that my cats have been a common topic of family arguments at the dinner table...
5. "Did I ask for an alarm clock?!"
I guess you could say cats are useful as we cat owners never need to buy an alarm clock again, but unfortunately, we can't set our cats to start meowing at a normal earthly hour. Instead, our morning routine revolves around them. When we get up solely depends on the time that their stomach wants to be full. When they turn up at our door meowing plaintively and scratching the door slowly with their paws, how can we resist?! And so, once again our cat has triumphed and we have answered to its beck and call...
