Flappy Birds Anonymous

Flappy Bird.

To me, those two words mean frustration, anti-socialism and the destruction of the human race. Reading back over that sentence I realised that those words paint a pretty negative picture of flappy bird. So this doesn't really explain why flappy bird is such a huge internet phenomenon, with over 50 million downloads. It doesn't explain why I still haven't done any of my homework this week because I can't stop hearing the plaintive chirping of flappy bird in my head calling me to return to play.

There have been countless youtube videos and vines all over the internet telling people NEVER to play flappy bird. Spending a lot of time on the internet, I innocently stumbled on one of these videos, with no prior knowledge of the pit of doom I was about to fall into. Unfortunately, watching this video only made me curious and I decided to download the game, thinking that it really couldn't be that bad. Well my internet companions, as I'm sure many of you know, I could not be more wrong.  

After playing the game a few times, I couldn't work out what the big fuss was about. The game had bad graphics, annoying sound effects and was virtually impossible. I thought it was a rubbish game and it really didn't seem to hook me. Well, without realising it, I had fallen into flappy bird's trap. Flappy bird had lulled me into a false sense that I wasn't addicted and I never would be. Ha! I thought. I can beat this flappy bird game! I can play it as many times as I want and it will never affect me! I then proceeded to play flappy bird a number of times to prove that it really wouldn't affect me. And here started the downward spiral that is my flappy bird addiction.

This led me to thinking, when does the addiction start? When is it not too late to escape? And so I came up with this. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 10 stages of flappy bird addiction:

1. Download flappy bird late in the evening.

2. Play it a few times. Discover it's rubbish and virtually impossible. Consider deleting.

3. Don't delete it just because everyone else has it and you don't want to feel left out.

4. Play it a few more times before you go to bed.

5. Dream about flappy bird.

6. Wake up with a sudden unexplainable urge to play it.

7. Play it.

8. Play it some more.

9. And more.

10. Begin to eat, sleep and breathe flappy bird. Talk about it and play it nonstop. Start seeing flappy bird in the faces of your friends. Start poking people thinking they are the game. Find a way to connect flappy bird to anything and everything.

You've earned your badge, now wear it loud and proud!

So there you have it. Having read this, I believe that your flappy bird addiction starts as soon as you download the game. No one who downloads the game can escape the grasp of flappy bird's beak. Once you click download, it is too late; it is impossible to flap free from the abyss that is flappy bird.

So I've solved when you become addicted but this still doesn't explain why. It's clearly not the ancient graphics or the annoying sound effects (although I actually find these very comforting now; a clear sign of my addiction) and the game is not exactly an original idea. The other thing about it is how difficult it is. Usually with games this difficult, I give up very early on, but not with flappy bird. With a high score of 41 (yes, in case you hadn't gathered I spend quite a lot of time on it), it's going to be difficult for me to beat my high score, so why do I keep trying? Well probably because I know that it is possible to beat it. Every time I play flappy bird, I get a little rush at the thought that this time I might beat my high score. And this, I think, is what draws people to flappy bird and means it takes over their life; they are always hopeful that they might do better and it is this little glimmer of hope in all of us that make us play flappy bird time and time again.

And on that note, I must go as I have a high score to beat…

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